


Anchor

by KidBrontok



Category: Actor RPF, Ezra Miller - Fandom, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies) RPF, Justice League (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Bodyguard Romance, Dependency, Ezra Miller - Freeform, Jealousy, M/M, Panic Attack, Please Don't Kill Me, Possessiveness, Slight Dom/Sub, bodyguard romance?, more than friends, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 09:27:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14329467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidBrontok/pseuds/KidBrontok
Summary: Sometimes the crowd gets too close, and Ezra feels unmoored like he's going to be swept away in the sea of people. But then he feels Rubee at his side, or sees him from some small distance standing out from the others, and he feels safe.





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS FICTION.

 

Sometimes the crowd gets too close.

Sometimes he feels them closing in, getting too grabby, shouting his name too loud, shoving things at him to sign. Sometimes these things unsettle him, make him feel lost and unmoored, like he's going to be swept away in the sea of people or pulled apart into different directions. But then he'll feel _him_ at his side, their shoulders bumping, or he'll catch a whiff of familiar cologne telling him _he's_ nearby.

_Relax, Ez. Breathe for me._

Just like that and he'll be back to himself. He's at a convention, standing in a corner behind a curtain that leads to the main hall, where probably hundreds are queuing for a photo. Rubee's at his front, his broad shoulders blocking his view -- or rather, blocking him from view. He's got one of his big hands clasped where Ezra's shoulder and neck meet, thumb pressed to his pulse.

"That's good. You back with me?"

Ezra swallows and finds his throat dry. He looks up and sees himself reflected on large dark sunglasses. Behind that, he thinks he can see even darker eyes staring back at him, Rubee's attention and regard pinning him to the present and steadying his nerves.

He takes a deep inhale and huffs out a long exhale, and nods. Rubee gives him a small smile and squeezes the back of his neck, and Ezra feels brave enough for the long day.

 

\---

 

Sometimes people ask him about Rubee.

They think he's cool with his gothic aesthetic and long braided hair, or they think he's intimidating with his heavy build and hidden eyes. They see him at the band's concerts and at movie sets, traveling with him for shoots, conventions, tours and premieres. Rubee doesn't try to blend in with the crowd and stay in the sidelines, either. Lilah joked once that he probably has his own fanclub.

"Is he your bodyguard?"

The question catches him off guard. Rubee is... well, yes. He's probably his bodyguard, just based on the literal meaning of the word. He keeps the most overzealous of people away. He's not much taller but his looming presence helps create this space where it's just the two of them in a crowd.

But he's also more than that.

Ezra gives a bumbling answer that he thinks doesn't really explain what Rubee is to him. In the car on the way back to the hotel, he thinks about the question and what his answer would be if he were asked again.

When they first met it was actually for physical therapy, when he had the traffic accident and hurt his knee. Rubee was the therapist, and he helped him so much that he never needed more than a cane for a short while back then. After some time he didn't need any more therapy, but Rubee is also a yoga teacher, and he needed that kind of exercise to take his mind off certain things at the time. And after that, he needed _more_ and Rubee just sort of became... a constant.

A hand on his knee stops its jiggling.

"Everything okay?"

He blinks and turns his head, and there's Rubee in the dark of the car, silhouetted against the lights from the street they're passing by.

Ezra opens his mouth and makes it work. "Just thinking of... when we met."

His voice sounds hoarse and his cheeks feel hot when he says the last few words.

Rubee hums but doesn't say anything. He can't see his face, but he's not wearing his glasses now and Ezra sees his eyes glinting off a streetlight.

 

\---

 

Sometimes he gets so irrational.

They were promoting _Fantastic Beasts_  and they just got off the plane at Heathrow. A crowd of paparazzi, fans and some curious bystanders hovers near the exit, and he's glad he's wearing sunglasses because camera flashes are popping everywhere. A few of the more aggressive types are drawing closer and airport security is not much help. He can feel a migraine coming, and his eyes hurt from the lights, and he's feeling sick after the flight from New York. He looks around and he sees Alison off to the side. And then there's Kat -- she's a very nice person and also his friend, but at the moment it doesn't feel like that.

His heart sinks as he sees her clutching Rubee's hand. And tucking it to her elbow. He strides to their side and tries to get Rubee's attention, but he doesn't get much except a turn of his head, and he doesn't have anything to hold onto except his books. He clutches them to his chest and feels lightheaded, but thankfully they get to the car and the door closes on the airport havoc soon enough.

Rubee and Kat are sitting in front of him, and he wants so badly to tap the man on the shoulder and talk to him about anything, really. He feels a light touch on his arm then and sees Alison seating beside him, smiling fondly.

"That bad, huh?"

He doesn't know what to say to that and he's not sure what she's asking, so he just shrugs and gives her a weak smile.

 

\---

 

Sometimes people seem to just _know_.

The _Justice League_ promo tour is in full swing, and he has a semi-permanent plus one for all his reservations. Nobody has really asked him directly why, or who, and he wonders about the others' own plus ones. He thinks of Ben, the A-list star, who travels mostly with his own staff. The others also have staff, but Gal, Ray and Jason usually take at least one family member with them. Is Rubee any different? The others seem to have their own bodyguards, but he rarely sees them.

"Hey, what's up? Is Rubee running a little late?"

"Umm, actually he can't make it today. He has a thing in Brooklyn."

Ray gives him a considering look. "C'mon, cheer up! I'm sure he can join us in Beijing."

The thought of Rubee with him in Beijing does cheer him up. "Yeah, I hope so."

"Aww, Rubee's not going with us today?" Gal says this with a sad face.

"Nope, he has to go to Brooklyn."

Gal reaches over to pat his hand then. "Well, tell him we'll take care of you in the meantime so he doesn't get worried."

He nods and smiles at this, and later he texts Rubee about what Ray and Gal said.

_Yes, I'll definitely be with you in Beijing. And thank Gal for me, that means a lot._

His face feels flush after that.

 

\---

 

Sometimes he feel afraid.

Rubee's been "a constant" a long time, longer than even Ezra anticipated. When he didn't need therapy anymore, they had yoga classes, but then he doesn't do yoga more than an hour each day. Nowadays Rubee travels with him for work almost everywhere, but sometimes when he's not working or touring, Rubee does take him places he says will help him heal and center himself.

Other days, though, Rubee goes off on his own and spends them with his own family and friends. Ezra has his own family and friends, but sometimes he wonders what Rubee's doing on his days off. Sometimes, he even works himself into a panic thinking if Rubee misses when he had a steady life and regular clientele in New York. Will Rubee come back? Ezra essentially pays him for his time as his employer; he can decide to not accept a salary and leave anytime.

Rubee posted on his social media one time, something about "the student" being ready. Ready for what, ready to be let go?

Ezra thinks, _I'm not ready. I'm just not ready._

He needs a steady hand, a constant, and Rubee is that. He needs a calming presence to quell his bouts of anxiety, a sort of security blanket that he can turn to instead of pot. He needs an anchor, he needs.

Rubee comes back.

 

\---

 

Sometimes the crowd gets too close, or things get too overwhelming and he feels unmoored, like he's going to be swept away in the sea of people. But then he feels Rubee at his side, and he feels safe.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Now, don't kill me but I've always been intrigued by Ezra's "bodyguard" Rubee. I promise I'm not a stalker but I found his LinkedIn and he actually has several certifications for PT, yoga, etc. I also just find it amusing whenever a pap/candid photo of Ezra has Rubee somewhere in the vicinity; he's somewhat omnipresent -- more omnipresent in Ezra's life than a regular bodyguard would be. So here's the result of my crazy theories.


End file.
